When you are polyracial, which ethnicity should be the dominant one? Is it politically correct to choose the one with the most possible benefits...i.e., the Native Hawaiian, or the Native American (Cherokee)? Or is it better to choose the ethnicity with the lifestyle values that promote the most happiness as it is played out in financial success, social prestige, personal fulfillment, or whatever spelling for success you choose.
It is no wonder polyracial people are confused as to who they really are. It is a struggle in getting one's head on straight to gain personal insight. Growing up in a plantation town, all the smart kids went into the A class which was made of mostly Japanese kids, some Filipino, Haole, and a couple of Hawaiians. The C class was the "slow" group made up mainly of Hawaiians, immigrant Filipinos. So to have a tall, hunky Hawaiian in the A class was like being a Giant in Munchkinland. Then to be an A class student trying to paddle canoe with the Kanaka kids was like a Geek trying to make it into a powerlighting world competition. See the irony of being all mixed up?
So just forget trying to comparmentalize things, values, traditions, superstitions, and proverbs!! At my age, I figure it is best to embrace it all!! Celebrate ALL the ethnic holidays!! Learn to cook ALL the favorite ethnic foods whether they belong to you or not!! Learn the wisdom of the ancient ones, no matter what language they spoke!! A lifetime will be filled with learning hopefully followed by understanding. What started off as a struggle ends up as a triumphant realization.
Ain't it funny how things turn out?
Friday, January 1, 2010
Friday, December 25, 2009
Adult Kids
Ain't it funny how your kids are always your kids...youths, young'uns, even though they are above the age of consent? When they are babies, they are so adorable and sweet. When they are teens, they are like the panini fruit...rosy red but prickly. There are times then their antics make you feel like stringing them up by their chinny chin chins.
But Patience and Tolerance!
It is best to let them grow out of their prickly stages because they become wonderful adults. Our enegetic boy who was always busy playing in the forest around our home has become the most thoughtful and protective fellow. He calls and checks up on his parents and his sisters. His calls on birthdays mornings are always early and the first. The shy poet is now a teacher of teachers, a presenter, and an organizer...who'd a thunk it? Our girl who didn't learn English until the fifth grade is now reading things (medical terms) we couldn't even pronounce and doing a great job at it. Our baby, the one on tiptoes, continues to tiptoe through the tulips with the tarmac straight ahead. Who knows what path she will follow?
So parents of unruly kids and rebellious teens, never string up your kids by their chinny chin chins. Wait until they grow up...they will surprise you pleasantly.
But Patience and Tolerance!
It is best to let them grow out of their prickly stages because they become wonderful adults. Our enegetic boy who was always busy playing in the forest around our home has become the most thoughtful and protective fellow. He calls and checks up on his parents and his sisters. His calls on birthdays mornings are always early and the first. The shy poet is now a teacher of teachers, a presenter, and an organizer...who'd a thunk it? Our girl who didn't learn English until the fifth grade is now reading things (medical terms) we couldn't even pronounce and doing a great job at it. Our baby, the one on tiptoes, continues to tiptoe through the tulips with the tarmac straight ahead. Who knows what path she will follow?
So parents of unruly kids and rebellious teens, never string up your kids by their chinny chin chins. Wait until they grow up...they will surprise you pleasantly.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Bad is Good
When I first found out I was pregnant,
My world crashed down around me.
Tearfully I broke the news to my mom
I expected mad eyes, loud yelling
But no, there was only a deep sigh
"So what you going to do now?"
I would have felt better if she
Sent a couple good cracks my way
But no, there was only a deep sigh.
When I found out my husband was fooling around,
My world crashed down around me again.
A bottomless fountain of tears flowed
Till my eyes replenished the Pacific.
I was the screaming banshee with mad eyes and loud yelling
But what good would it do? The ties were broken.
"So what am I going to do now?"
Christmas decorations and carols did not cheer
I put his clothes in garbage bags on our stoop
But what good would it do? The ties were broken.
We escaped the daily stress of living
Sold our car and went to Japan
My daughter was now seven, with long hair
Plunked into a school of foreign speakers
All with short haircuts
I thought I left my troubles but they followed me
To the Land of the Setting Sun
Ex-husband sends my daughter his wedding pictures for Christmas
Our little evergreen tree in a vase with paper cranes
Made it a very dismal Christmas for us.
But new landscape, new language, and new adventures,
What could I do but survive
We did our best to enjoy the land of our forefathers
Families on both sides of the Pacific helped.
But what could I do but survive.
Bad is good
Medicine to build strong minds and bodies.
I have an independent daughter thriving who
Does not blame her parents too much for their stupidities.
I have a good husband now who loves me more than I am worth
We have built a family with kids who love each other.
I have learned about sacrifice and family ties
Bad is good, given time.
My world crashed down around me.
Tearfully I broke the news to my mom
I expected mad eyes, loud yelling
But no, there was only a deep sigh
"So what you going to do now?"
I would have felt better if she
Sent a couple good cracks my way
But no, there was only a deep sigh.
When I found out my husband was fooling around,
My world crashed down around me again.
A bottomless fountain of tears flowed
Till my eyes replenished the Pacific.
I was the screaming banshee with mad eyes and loud yelling
But what good would it do? The ties were broken.
"So what am I going to do now?"
Christmas decorations and carols did not cheer
I put his clothes in garbage bags on our stoop
But what good would it do? The ties were broken.
We escaped the daily stress of living
Sold our car and went to Japan
My daughter was now seven, with long hair
Plunked into a school of foreign speakers
All with short haircuts
I thought I left my troubles but they followed me
To the Land of the Setting Sun
Ex-husband sends my daughter his wedding pictures for Christmas
Our little evergreen tree in a vase with paper cranes
Made it a very dismal Christmas for us.
But new landscape, new language, and new adventures,
What could I do but survive
We did our best to enjoy the land of our forefathers
Families on both sides of the Pacific helped.
But what could I do but survive.
Bad is good
Medicine to build strong minds and bodies.
I have an independent daughter thriving who
Does not blame her parents too much for their stupidities.
I have a good husband now who loves me more than I am worth
We have built a family with kids who love each other.
I have learned about sacrifice and family ties
Bad is good, given time.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
The Christmas Blues
Ain't it funny how the Christmas season is like a race to be run. In the beginning, the slow start means making lists, checking them twice, and figuring out where best to shop. Then the pace picks up as the gifts are checked off of the list. At the peak is the traditional Christmas letter writing and the visualization of the people who will be getting the letters. Double check the Christmas letter to make sure that all of the family members are mentioned and provided an equal number of inches of attention. Dash of to Office Max and print out the Christmas letter, then write the addresses on the envelopes, get the stamps, sort out the letters by address, get to the post office. Then wait in line for your turn.
Lugging home the mail from the post office, invariably someone's post card reminds you that you forgot to send them a Christmas letter. Then you get on the computer and email the rest of the folks their electronic Christmas letter. Add in a special message on the email and attach the Christmas letter making sure that you attached the correct year's edition. Bing...the letters are sent.
Christmas dinner is on the horizon...making a list, checking it twice, checking out what market to visit for the best deals. Then the fight is on for a parking space, a shopping cart, the very last delectable tidbit, paying for the food through the eyeballs, pushing the mountain of groceries to the car, loading the groceries only to find that there were 100s reusuable shopping bags in the trunk after all. Fight travel 20 miles home to the ranch. Unloading the groceries, making sure there is enough space in the refrigerator for all of the delectable tidbits purchased.
Clean the house!!
Christmas morning, wake up and find an excited adult-baby has cooked breakfast and sorted the gifts into piles. Unwrap gifts. Throw away the trash. Put away the gifts. Eat more breakfast...then get ready for the marathon.
Then it is cook, cook, wash the dishes in the sink, cook, cook, wash more dishes in the sink. Set the table. Put out a mountain of food. Eat. Clean up. Eat desset.
Clean up. Wave goodbye to all who came to Christmas dinner. Then, crash!
The sun jerks your eyelids open whether you like it or not. Christmas is over.
Now what am I going to do with myself until February 14th?
Lugging home the mail from the post office, invariably someone's post card reminds you that you forgot to send them a Christmas letter. Then you get on the computer and email the rest of the folks their electronic Christmas letter. Add in a special message on the email and attach the Christmas letter making sure that you attached the correct year's edition. Bing...the letters are sent.
Christmas dinner is on the horizon...making a list, checking it twice, checking out what market to visit for the best deals. Then the fight is on for a parking space, a shopping cart, the very last delectable tidbit, paying for the food through the eyeballs, pushing the mountain of groceries to the car, loading the groceries only to find that there were 100s reusuable shopping bags in the trunk after all. Fight travel 20 miles home to the ranch. Unloading the groceries, making sure there is enough space in the refrigerator for all of the delectable tidbits purchased.
Clean the house!!
Christmas morning, wake up and find an excited adult-baby has cooked breakfast and sorted the gifts into piles. Unwrap gifts. Throw away the trash. Put away the gifts. Eat more breakfast...then get ready for the marathon.
Then it is cook, cook, wash the dishes in the sink, cook, cook, wash more dishes in the sink. Set the table. Put out a mountain of food. Eat. Clean up. Eat desset.
Clean up. Wave goodbye to all who came to Christmas dinner. Then, crash!
The sun jerks your eyelids open whether you like it or not. Christmas is over.
Now what am I going to do with myself until February 14th?
Friday, December 4, 2009
A Korean Drama Lifestyle
Since our kids are all out of the house, living their own lives, my hubby and I can now live our lives as we desire. Of course, the dreams of sleeping in late are destroyed by bladders that insist on being emptied at about 5:00 am or the horses and cats that neigh and meow like a living alarm clock reminding us that the sun is up already and breakfast should be served.
We do get to luxuriate in afternoon naps as the traffic rages past out house, hurrying to Hilo to buy groceries or what ever the errand or hurrying back to Volcano to put the ice cream and the rest of the groceries away.
One thing that has been a gas is our menu of Korean dramas in the evenings. Unlike American soap operas which should use the soap in their genre name to cleanse the nasty attitudes and actions, Korean dramas center on home life, the trials and tribulations of parents and children, love and loyalty, ethics and greed. It is amazing to see adult children obeying their parents!! I always get incensed to see so many drama mamas who are real witches with a capital B while the fathers in the family command respect with their logical remedies to even the worst problems...divorce and adultery. My husband always smiles smugly knowing that finally men are portrayed in the way that requires cherished adoration.
With our new found freedom, we can go to water aerobics in the evening, go out to dinner, see a movie, go to a performance...as long as we are back home by 7:45 to begin the series of Hangu entertainment. Ain't life grand?
We do get to luxuriate in afternoon naps as the traffic rages past out house, hurrying to Hilo to buy groceries or what ever the errand or hurrying back to Volcano to put the ice cream and the rest of the groceries away.
One thing that has been a gas is our menu of Korean dramas in the evenings. Unlike American soap operas which should use the soap in their genre name to cleanse the nasty attitudes and actions, Korean dramas center on home life, the trials and tribulations of parents and children, love and loyalty, ethics and greed. It is amazing to see adult children obeying their parents!! I always get incensed to see so many drama mamas who are real witches with a capital B while the fathers in the family command respect with their logical remedies to even the worst problems...divorce and adultery. My husband always smiles smugly knowing that finally men are portrayed in the way that requires cherished adoration.
With our new found freedom, we can go to water aerobics in the evening, go out to dinner, see a movie, go to a performance...as long as we are back home by 7:45 to begin the series of Hangu entertainment. Ain't life grand?
Friday, November 6, 2009
Korean Feast the Easy Way
I had a meeting at our house and in order to entice people to attend the meeting, I baited them with yummy food. I was going to make Hawaiian food but I'm often doing that so I figured I'd take a different tact. I decided to make a Korean lunch with lots and lots of garlic!!
On the menu: Beef kimchee stew, tofu-okara cakes with kochujang sauce, homemade cucumber kimchee, sutchul namul(various vegetable side dishes, rice, and sherbert for dessert. Did my practice tofu-okara cakes and found out that you need to use extra firm tofu and squeeze out the water.
Since I had classes on Wednesday, I really had to go into high gear to purchase the ingredients after class. Then I had a touch of ach-phenomenon. Why should I make the side dishes when I could go to the Korean restaurant? I priced a small container at $4.63. When I went to pick up the veggies...the countergirl suggested I purchase the veggie plate and I could get five sides for about $6...Eureka!!! There was my answer!! I ended up getting double orders of bean sprouts, and kombu (seaweed), and mustard cabbage. Uiha!! what a time saver!!
Come 11:00 on Thursday, all the food was done. My kimchee stew was made with homegrown beef, sour kimchee, bamboo shoots, turnips, carrots, potatoes, green onions, kimchee base, red pepper flakes, red pepper powder, and kochujung. The meat was a tender as butter and with hot rice...a winner!! I left the food inside the house as we had our meeting in the garage. I didn't want the smells of garlic to interrupt our thoughts.
At noon, I busted out the food. There was silence so I think the food was good.
For dinner, we copied what we've seen on Korean dramas...put a bunch of rice in a large bowl, throw in the left over side dishes, slice up some leftover chicken from the night before and add a heaping tablespoon of kochujang and stir the mixture.
Impromptu bibinpap!! What a way to end the day...we turned on to KBFD and we were in Korean Heaven.
On the menu: Beef kimchee stew, tofu-okara cakes with kochujang sauce, homemade cucumber kimchee, sutchul namul(various vegetable side dishes, rice, and sherbert for dessert. Did my practice tofu-okara cakes and found out that you need to use extra firm tofu and squeeze out the water.
Since I had classes on Wednesday, I really had to go into high gear to purchase the ingredients after class. Then I had a touch of ach-phenomenon. Why should I make the side dishes when I could go to the Korean restaurant? I priced a small container at $4.63. When I went to pick up the veggies...the countergirl suggested I purchase the veggie plate and I could get five sides for about $6...Eureka!!! There was my answer!! I ended up getting double orders of bean sprouts, and kombu (seaweed), and mustard cabbage. Uiha!! what a time saver!!
Come 11:00 on Thursday, all the food was done. My kimchee stew was made with homegrown beef, sour kimchee, bamboo shoots, turnips, carrots, potatoes, green onions, kimchee base, red pepper flakes, red pepper powder, and kochujung. The meat was a tender as butter and with hot rice...a winner!! I left the food inside the house as we had our meeting in the garage. I didn't want the smells of garlic to interrupt our thoughts.
At noon, I busted out the food. There was silence so I think the food was good.
For dinner, we copied what we've seen on Korean dramas...put a bunch of rice in a large bowl, throw in the left over side dishes, slice up some leftover chicken from the night before and add a heaping tablespoon of kochujang and stir the mixture.
Impromptu bibinpap!! What a way to end the day...we turned on to KBFD and we were in Korean Heaven.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Forgotten Things
I don't know about you but when I am stressed, I seem to add more stress by misplacing things. An envelope with $500 cash, my glasses, my keys, my wallet, an important letter...the list goes on and on. Then I go crazy looking around for it.
The latest adventure was the loss of a Walmart bag with a bottle of Bioastin, a lauhala journal, and a roll of glue. I searched all over the house, even checking the garbage bag if in case I threw the bag away. I secretly thought that my husband put the bag away in such places as the high kitchen cabinet above the refrigerator or some weird location like that. I stomped around, shaking the walls of my house with my thunder footsteps...grumbling under my breath, certain that my husband put the package away some place and feigned ignorance about its whereabouts.
Saturday night, sick with the flu, I decided to make my "clean the refrigerator" vegetable soup made with a conglomeration of little bits of leftovers. And lo and behold...there was the sucking Walmart bag in the refrigerator. Could it be possible that the culprit of stupidity was me? What a super knucklehead after all the energy I spent blaming my husband. This is indeed the time to re-air my poem on Forgotten Things.
Forgotten Things
Muriel Mililani Hughes
Me no mai mono, mie nai koto.
Things in front of your eyes are the subjects of blindness.
I just made up this ancient Japanese saying
But ain't it the truth?
Don't it just piss you off when you can't find
Some monumental crap you've been looking for?
These trivial things are so damn important at the time.
When you finally get your hands on them,
You see what a sorry excuse for treasure they are.
Okay, some people say we lose things because
Of stress or some Freudian reason
Linked to parts of the body that have nothing to do
With where we last left the crap.
Others say that we lose things because
We are so damned sloppy.
So...I love sloppy. Don't be accusing me of being
An anal retentive neatnick. Ah....See? Freud gets in his digs again.
I think we lose things because they have their own karma
And travel to Forgotten Things Nirvana
Where they exist to laugh at us as we chase our tails,
Looking under beds and piles of paper,
Sweating and elevating our own blood pressure.
Some cosmic creator of Forgotten Things has a monumental
Plan to see us squirm, suffer, and promise to repent if only
We could find the damn crap!
Beside the ancient Japanese saying that I just made up
I have come to an earth-shattering realization.
Sometimes, we are just idiots, plain and simple
And deserve to suffer.
The latest adventure was the loss of a Walmart bag with a bottle of Bioastin, a lauhala journal, and a roll of glue. I searched all over the house, even checking the garbage bag if in case I threw the bag away. I secretly thought that my husband put the bag away in such places as the high kitchen cabinet above the refrigerator or some weird location like that. I stomped around, shaking the walls of my house with my thunder footsteps...grumbling under my breath, certain that my husband put the package away some place and feigned ignorance about its whereabouts.
Saturday night, sick with the flu, I decided to make my "clean the refrigerator" vegetable soup made with a conglomeration of little bits of leftovers. And lo and behold...there was the sucking Walmart bag in the refrigerator. Could it be possible that the culprit of stupidity was me? What a super knucklehead after all the energy I spent blaming my husband. This is indeed the time to re-air my poem on Forgotten Things.
Forgotten Things
Muriel Mililani Hughes
Me no mai mono, mie nai koto.
Things in front of your eyes are the subjects of blindness.
I just made up this ancient Japanese saying
But ain't it the truth?
Don't it just piss you off when you can't find
Some monumental crap you've been looking for?
These trivial things are so damn important at the time.
When you finally get your hands on them,
You see what a sorry excuse for treasure they are.
Okay, some people say we lose things because
Of stress or some Freudian reason
Linked to parts of the body that have nothing to do
With where we last left the crap.
Others say that we lose things because
We are so damned sloppy.
So...I love sloppy. Don't be accusing me of being
An anal retentive neatnick. Ah....See? Freud gets in his digs again.
I think we lose things because they have their own karma
And travel to Forgotten Things Nirvana
Where they exist to laugh at us as we chase our tails,
Looking under beds and piles of paper,
Sweating and elevating our own blood pressure.
Some cosmic creator of Forgotten Things has a monumental
Plan to see us squirm, suffer, and promise to repent if only
We could find the damn crap!
Beside the ancient Japanese saying that I just made up
I have come to an earth-shattering realization.
Sometimes, we are just idiots, plain and simple
And deserve to suffer.
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